There was a gap while we waited for my radiotherapy to get underway and we determined to use the time well. First up on our agenda was to get married. This had a practical element to it, we wanted to ensure David would not encounter any problems should I die. Although he had registered as Ned’s father, at the time of Ned’s birth, we were advised that if we were to get married we’d need to fill in some additional forms to give him proper legal paternal rights. This had all changed by the time Posy was born but we were a bit twitchy about it and wanted to be certain.
There was an additional, more romantic reason too! We’d been planning to get married for ages, since David had proposed on Millenium Eve. That had been a shock, to this day I have no idea whether he had been overcome by booze and bonhomie or whether it was at all planned. We’d been together, broadly, for seven years so it was hardly a snap decision. Anyway, no sooner had we started to make plans and look at venues, I started to be sick and nauseous which turned out not to be nerves or anxiety at this new turn but my body’s reaction to being pregnant with Ned. I wanted to enjoy any wedding party so we decided to delay until after his arrival. But then when he arrived I was so enraptured I thought I’d want have another baby quickly and so not long after, along came Posy.
After Posy arrived we made plans quite rapidly. We had the idea of getting married at Earlham Hall, the law school where David worked, a rather lovely building, surrounded by Earlham Park. We were given permission to use the Hall but had to apply to the Council to be allowed to have a marquee on the lands outside. David, meanwhile, had booked a slot at Norwich registry office for us to be married on the date, 10 years to the day that we had gone on our first date. What an old romantic, you may think! No, he didn’t want to have to remember a new anniversary date. Well, that’s his story anyway…. The idea was we wouldn’t tell anyone then have a full celebration at a summer do, such excitement! Ah, the best laid plans. The day we received notification from the council that we could indeed have permission for the marquee, was the day I collapsed with my first fit.
So the big exciting party plans had been put on hold but the actual legalities seemed wise to get on to. We asked Debbie and my sister to be witnesses, we were aiming to keep everything as low key as possible and had not really told anyone else, not even our parents. My sister could make it but was literally heading to Australia the following day so would have to bring her two teenage children, which was fine. Otherwise this was planned as an entirely fuss free event. In the end, my sister convinced me to buy a new skirt and top and I cracked and ordered a bouquet and buttonholes. Catherine and her kids, wore jeans. It was a curious little group that turned up at the registry office.
Norwich registry office is a rather beautiful building with a rather vaulted, incredibly echoey waiting area. I remember this in particular because on arrival, Posy decided to wake up and start screaming at the top of her lungs. I’ve no idea why, Posy was normally an incredible peaceful, sleepy baby, most content when left to slumber. Perhaps she felt the need to make a comment on the impending nuptials in her own inimitable style. My nephew, Theo had volunteered to film the little ceremony and amused himself by practising on this noisy tableaux while we waited and tried to pacify Posy.
And then as we were all flustered and flapping, our turn came and Posy magically went quiet. Then the little service started and David and I decided to take up where Posy had left off. I’m not quite sure how we got through it. I have a vague recollection of the registrar, in slightly kinder terms, telling us to pull ourselves together. But it was like a released tidal wave. I get emotional at weddings at the best of times but as words like, “in sickness and health” suddenly had such resonance, David and I were in pieces. I don’t know how the others were but the two of us sobbed our way through it. We got there but it wasn’t pretty.
Afterwards, we had some photos and then went for lunch at a pub. Theo, who had been assiduously trying to capture some of these sorry carry ons was playing around with the video camera when he realised he’d accidentally ersased all the footage. To be honest it was probably just as well.